So I was a little bored this morning and Jaci started talking to me about this site called Suicidegirls with really ugly girls. So me and Jaci basically decided that I was hot enough to be a suicidegirl, so I found this link.. and I signed up.

http://suicidegirls.com/model/

I gave them all my accurate information including email and phone number. I didn't try to fem up my name I just entered it as it was. It asked for a photo so I submited my own picture even.  



We have decided to convince others to sign up as well...

Here is my convo with Jeffery

Me: Will you do something really funny?
Jeff: What is that?
Me: Sign up to be a female model on a nude site? http://suicidegirls.com/model/
Jeff: Wow
Me: Come on!
Jeff: Why?
Me: There is nothing saying you "Have" to be a girl. I did it, its more for fun to fuck with the site.
Jeff: SuicideGirls are unique, strong, sexy and confident women. Is this you?
Me: I sent in my favorite picture of me... http://www.wanfear.com/~stien/men15pg With all my actuall contact info.
Jeff: Hahahaha
Me: I wonder if they will accept me :-P
Jeff: It would be awesome if they did.
Me: Try to join! Come on! Its halarious. Your friends will ask you what you did today, and you'll say "I signed up to be a female nude model on the internet."
Jeff: Hahaha. I don't know man, I don't want to get harassed by some crazy models.
Me: Come on... :-D It's funny!
Jeff: Maybe later.
Me: hehe. You know you want to do it.
Jeff: I do, but I don't.
Me: The submission says you dont have to submit a nude picture... I'm trying to convince Lunche to do it.
Jeff: Haha
Me: http://suicidegirls.com/model/ GO SIGN UP!
Jeff: Later... not right now. I have no reason, but still.
Me: hehe

And then my convo with Lunche

Me: Lunche....
Lunche: Yan...
Me: Want to do something really stupid?
Lunche: Not especially
Me: Even if it involves nude female modeling in the least? Hmm?
Lunche: Hmmm. I'd have to check with my girlfriend.
Me: No, trust me you wont have to.
Lunche: ?
Me: Let me just suggest it, and then think about it for a second, and then don't think about it. and then tell me what you think.
Lunche: Alright
Me: Ok... http://suicidegirls.com/model/ Go sign up.
Lunche: No.
Me: Why not?
Lunche: I'm not paying for that
Me: noo...
Lunche: Plus I have no credit card
Me: It's not a paying to sign up thing... follow the link, it will all make sense if you follow the link.
Lunche: Oh. That's stupid
Me: Sign up...
Lunche: I'm not signing up to become a suicide girl.
Me: Told you it was stupid. Why not?
Lunche: I don't have enough piercings.
Me: You don't have too..
Lunche: And I don't die my hair
Me: The girls on the site are so ugly we have a good chance at getting in.
Lunche: And my skin is fairly dark and healthy, Some of them are good looking, besides, I'm not old enough either
Me: I sent in my application with this image http://www.wanfear.com/~stien/men15pg I'm so getting accepted :-P
Lunche: Eeeew
Me: Don't lie about your age, just submit :-D
Lunche: I didn't want to see that
Me: Yes you did Lunche... You know you want to be a nude female model!
Lunche: But I'M a mamale.
Me: Thats not the point!
Lunche: I thought the point was that Suicide girls are wierd and don't have penises
Me: I wouldn't be to sure of that.
Lunche: Most of them don't. Regardless, it's just a stupid idea
Me: Some probably do. I said it was stupid....
Lunche: Ask Catter. He'd probably get off on it. I'm a prude
Me: But when people ask you what you did today, it would throw them if you said back , "I signed up to be a female nude model on the internet."
Lunche: I'm going to be at work later. I'm not telling people THAT
Me: Exactly, what a conversation piece!
Lunche: No. I'm telling them what I really did
Me: Lunche... come on you know you want to.
Lunche: Made pancakes, ate them while watching Reservoir Dogs, and watched Freakazoid
Me: Burner will probably do it later.
Lunche: Sounds like Burner
Me: ... Do it for all those men out there who have to look at ugly girls on that site... Do it for democracy! Do it for America! Or the terrorists have truly won.
Lunche: No no. Those men aren't FORCED to look. They WANT to look. For they are SAD SAD individuals
Me: What if they are forced to look?
Lunche: By who? DAMN IT YAN I JUST WANT TO WATCH FREAKAZOID
Me: What if they came there on the promise of hot emo chicks. And then the site throws in an ugly fat chick. Isn't that forced? FREAKAZOID WOULD WANT YOU TO SIGN UP!
Lunche: No, he's want me to watch Heroboy
Me: SIGN UP TO BE A NUDE FEMALE MODEL!
Lunche: No.
Me: Fine. Freakazoid is crying. Are you happy?
Lunche: Yes. Because I am watching Freakazoid
Me: ...

Whats the lesson to take from all of this?

Go sign up, whether your a girl or not.

So I just finally got my results for test b of Torts. The negligence exam. I got the second highest grade. Two people tied for the highest grade, and two other people tied with my score. So I am very happy to a very high degree about my oh so sweet score. So big test coming up on Monday the 21st. That should be a blast. Send me some luck and love everyone.

So, I am sick. Seriously sick, or rather getting better now from being sick. It was bad. I was bed ridden at some time of it. But thats okay. I deal with things like that all the time. Oh wait... no I don't. I haven't gotten sick for a long time since last. I usually have the best immune system out of everyone I know. Even you Jer! This time though, bouts of depression mixed with stress and stuff caused me to drop down in health, as well as I am gaining weight. Which is odd, cause I have never been hungry when depressed before today. I usually have no hunger when I am depressed. I need to start exercising since I can see a noticable differance in appearance. Oh well back to the point.

I am struggling today and since monday to get them to inact the lemon law on my laptop since they had to repair one action over 10 times on my laptop but never did. This would be easy, but there is one factor un noticed in the action. My laptop is out of warranty, and has been for two months. Funny no? But I am in the middle of call four right now, lets go over the anthology as it is now.

Call 1:
To the store directly, to see if I have a case, they told me to call headquarters, since they couldn't help me what with the warranty not being valid any more.

Call 2:
To headquarters, the lady there was really nice, telling me that she couldn't help me directly, but if I took my service numbers wrote a letter and found proof of the work in the past and faxed it to the replacement coordinator I would have a chance for replacement. So I pulled all my work and wrote a really nice letter.

Fax 1:
Dear Bestbuy Replacement Coordinator,

I am and have been a Bestbuy customer for some time. Since I first saw one open in Huntington Beach right next door to its predecessor Best, I have always been intriged. True to this I have, and my family included in purchasing for me, only bought laptops from your store. I spend probably more then a mere twenty-two year old probably should when I purchase from Bestbuy on a regular basis but you guys have me hooked.

Sadly though this letter is not about my love for your company, but for a situation I felt harmed in. I purchased a laptop in March of 2003 for somewhere around thirteen hundred dollars, being I was nineteen at the time, I forget the exact price of it. Since I have had it, I have complained more then ten times about it's overheating issues. I don't have all my paperwork from my service order, but I am sending you three copys I happened accross. The earliest from 2004, even though there was a case prior to it, and others down the line, I assure you, as I took the laptop in late Febuary 2006 it still over heated. In march of 2006 the warrenty expired and I asked the service man to please fix the problem since I have had several problems with this same situation, or if they could just replace it to protect it from happening again after the warrenty. The man stated that they would fix the problem but I would have at least thirty days incase it came up again, after the warrenty. This was not the first time I have heard that, in fact I believe it was the fifth time that I heard that they would be repairing it for good. I asked several times if they could not fix the problem would they replace it, but they all told me only the head office could do that after viewing the repairs needed, every time it returned and lasted another month. I am hoping to fall on your decency to help me find a solution to this problem, since I am out of them as you can see. I relied on the expert analysis of your employees because I am not to knowledgeable, and now feel hurt by it. I wouldn't have even gotten to this point, if it wasn't for the fact that its overheating again now to the point of not allowing my wireless internet PC card to work properly, which is something I need for school quite drasticly.

Please respond back to me with a call, as I will be eagerly awaiting it.

Sincerely,
Eric Bryan Seuthe II

P.S. In the second Service order it doesn't word exactly overheating, but if you look at the letter I wrote to the man following it you will see that he marked check the fan because of overheating.

Call 3:
Directly to the store, after talking to the coordinator, she told me that I would have to talk to the store in regards to actually getting it done, but if they couldn't to call back headquarters. So as talking to them, they checked all the information, and said they put it up for replacement but couldn't on their own replace it, that it had to get approval by corperate. So time to call them.

Call 4:
Corperate again. This time calling corperate was not as pleasing. I talked to her, and she told me that they most likely would not authorize the replacement since the service plan was expired. She pushed the plan up to higher ups to authorize, and told me to call back in 7 days, but the claim should get looked at in 5. This is rediculous at this time. They did not authorize the replacement of the laptop at anytime while it was under warranty, even though I asked them if they could, what makes me think they would do it now, when the warranty expired. Well, I tell you what, I will not fade away, if it gets to it, I will act very agressive in getting my laptop replaced!

So, I am an employee of Blockbuster for about a year and a half now. I work hard and love my job. A lot of people come into the store for my suggestions and opinions and view me as a friendly guy. I also work in Brentwood, Los Angeles, California. This is not an area frequented by people without money, and as such we recieve a lot of celebrities. One frequent customer is Ryan Reynolds. He usually comes in and isn't that much of a bother, he likes to only talk in whispers because he doesn't want to talk to anyone and doesn't want anyone to notice him. So, we have to as you all know greet people as well as try to serve their needs. So I always ask him how he is and if he is looking for anything, sadly unlike someone who has needs to be served he rudely, not extremely just coldly, disuades me from my attempts to help him. The funny fact of this situation are not made up I guarentee. As such that I have multiple witnesses in the form of other employees. We were talking about normal things me and my store manager and a csr, when the topic that it was ironic came into play, and the csr started to sing the song, and then pointed out that Alanis Mooresset comes in and some times her man Ryan Reynolds comes in, a fact we already knew. The topic went to Ryan and as we talk he pulls up, parks and enters the store. We all stop talking about it well before he can hear us and we continue talking to each other in our joveal way as I greet him, and he looks about the store. The store manager at this time moves to the back of the store, and we all talk not being to loud, but loud enough for the store manager to hear me as well as the csr. I must say at this point I did most of the talking and was loud, but if I had been any quieter, the store manager wouldn't be able to hear me, as a couple times I had to repeat myself. After the meat of our convo, Ryan had decieded to relenquish his search for a dvd and began to leave the store as he did so I confirmed that he didn't find what he was looking for and in the middle of telling him I was sorry he couldn't find anything, and to have a good night I noticed a open cut on his nose and proceeded with these words, "Oh my god what happened to your nose?" Since I could have sword I saw a little blood, and like I would to any customer showed concern. He then returned shouting at me, " DUDE! You are the loudest person in the world!" and stormed out of the store.

I mean I have only once been sassed by a customer in my time at blockbuster. Only once. I kinda hated it when it happened from a no body, but I really expected a little more out of someone who depends on the publics attention for his earnings. It wasn't like he was obligated anything to me, then to treat me like anyone else would. I just don't get what goes through the mind of a celebrity to think that they can do what ever they want...

Anyone else got a simular or better story?

I come before you today a broken man.

Self realizations have got me down. I am entering a dark era that might last quite some time. I didn't realize it till this morning, but I have been in it for quite some time. I am a failure, trying to mantain what and who I am.

I don't draw anymore, I never write stories. Promises to complete my script and lesser works have never been completed. I don't know where my folly lies? I feel I don't have time, but I lay in bed without desire to awake. I have grown accustom to living in a world where I don't have to try. Don't have to work. My basic body has taken over and my brain has left long before. Even the things I love are simple lazyness transcribed over two seconds of effort. My drawings, they are mimics, copyed in some cases and quickly drawn in two seconds in others. I never finished the songs I started, I just sit here. I know what my loved ones and friends would say, that I now stand at a junction where I must give up the small pleasures in life for the road ahead. But I was doing this well before I entered law school. I need to find my definate modivation, and in part my desire to live, not just to exist but to live. I exist for the people I love. Sadly though I don't live. I mill, I muddle, I even transgress around, but I do not actually go out of my way to further my existance. Every step I take is actually a further step away from myself.

About nine years ago I enbarked on a mission. I sat down and didn't understand. I didn't understand myself, not anything about me or the world around me. Atleast not to the extent I wanted, so I made a tough and bad call. I secluded myself. Away from family, away from love away from everything a 13 year old child needs. I destroyed in part my bonds of family. Destroying even my bonds of friendship in alot of parts. To this extent, I do not know how to be a brother, a son, or even a friend. I had failed everyone around me, in what I now view as a selfish act. In the end though, I learned who I was, what my body is what it does, to a point where I understand it, and if I work really hard I could make it what I want in any way shape or form. I know my limits as well as areas I am limitless. I found peace in sense, for a little bit.

Sadly though no matter what I learned the future always seemed non existant to me. Not in the sense that it didn't exist, but in the fact that I couldn't see myself in it. I lived in the past, thinking about what transpired and who did what and everything, so much to the point that I had no future in my eyes, everything I did, didn't matter I would never amount to anything. School held no bounds to me. There was no reason for me to care, besides the fact that it was forced upon me. So much so that I failed it. I almost did not achieve graduation. Not because I was stupid, but clearly based because I didn't care. I saw myself at a crossroad when they told me I would not graduate, should I care then. I didn't care. What did upset me, was thier belief that I couldn't, and there in fact lied my later issues, I became at that point a man fueled with hate. Though before that I had my issues and they never dropped, but at that point it became my sole and only reason to exist. I graduated highschool, not for my future not for my own concern, but out of hate for the school I went to.

From that point I just wanted it all to end. I didn't tell most people this but all through my life i lived one step before the noose. Every day I would have to think of another reason to exist. Another reason not to end it. In the end my sole reason that burned in me was hate. Hate and love. I became the sole definition of a bi-polar person. I jumped from one to the next of the two emotions, sometimes without merrit. This is how I remained alive. Still through that I found no peace no rest for my body, or even my "soul" if there really is a thing. I seriously didn't want to exist. I threw my life away a long time before hoping in the long run something would notice and just end it there. But no one or nothing never did. My hate for my father and my own fear of failure to him where the only things staying my hand, a petulant child's answer. Sadly though a true one. My failings as a human and successes can all be tied back to my father, not by his actions, but from my own responces to them.

So I wandered from life to life still absent of a future. I found one life and nartured it, to such an extent but in the end it wasn't right. A whole life lost, the future world or possibilities gone. Because I was a failure as a human being. So I jumped to the next, and then the next. I left so many lives that didn't fit, at the end of each one killing me self in a sense, to destroy any connection to it.

It was because I wanted to die, that I killed any connection to my pasts, my want to not exist was only close enough if I had no past. So I would stand at every junction with not much to say of my past because it was dead. Non existant.

Now I found a path, something to help me help the ones I love, existing in a life of love. Leaving the life of hate rather unchecked. I love my woman, I love her so much that it burns me in a way I could never explain since I am not a man of emotions in a sense. I stand at an impass of existance and actual life and my body can not make the final leep. To throw away what was once all throughout me. So my body rejects my attempt at living it burns me trying hard fast to turn me to nothing but hate to consume my love in fire, it tries by giving me doubt by killing what I love. It can't though, it only hurts me though. Making me doubt myself and hate the things I have. Hating my job, hating my flesh. I am truely on the brink of existing now, solely because I wanted to live. The things i love keeping me from teetering over. Right now tears are running down my cheeks and I am not a man of tears. Any of my friends will tell you that.

I will not run though. I will not kill my past here. I want to live. I want to truely live. To have a future, and a past. Its going to be hard but I want to have it, solely to keep me here, and so for a new selfish reason, have a family, have everything I can, so I can give it all as well.